San Juan
by electrakitty74
Summary: Lengthy epic in which Angel visits her past. Rated T for. . .well some suggested sex
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I decided to repost this, utilizing the chapter feature. I'm planning to release it a little at a time, in case this is your first time reading it. Some chapters are really short, so some will have 3-4 chapters in the same grouping. This was written over about two weeks, most of which was spent in a gorgeous coastal Maine house in January with no heat. One can write a lot on a laptop next to a fireplace.**

**Chapter 1**

Angel awoke suddenly and looked out the window of the tiny plane. It was the first time she'd been airborne, and she was shocked she'd been able to sleep. She'd been both exalted and terrified for the first hour of the flight from New York to Orlando. Now that they were nearing San Juan, she couldn't keep her eyes open. The woman seated next to her had stared openly at her face the moment she'd sat down. Angel had spoken pleasantly to her for awhile and she had warmed considerably. Now Angel played with the rings on her first finger and wished she had her real clothes on. The woman was staring again, and Angel felt exposed. The older woman seemed to sense that there was something different about this thin young man sitting next to her. He was dressed fairly normally, in faded jeans, a t-shirt, and a light jacket, too warm for late spring this far South, but he still seemed to shiver.  
"Are you ok?" she asked. She had a fairly thick Southern accent. Georgia maybe, Angel guessed.  
"Yeah, it's just my first time home in awhile. I'm nervous."  
"You said you were going to see your family, right?"  
"Yeah, my grandmother, mostly. I haven't seen her in so long. More than 10 years."  
"You look pale."  
"I'm just tired. I've been travelling since five this morning."  
"Oh, you poor thing. You'll be so happy to get to your family."  
"Yeah, I can't wait to see my grandmother." This was true. Angel's Abuelita had always been her favorite relative. She was a tiny woman, strong and sparkling, with a fiery temper and a fiercely loving disposition. She was the person in Angel's family with whom she most identified.  
"Where did you say you came from?"  
"New York City."  
"Oooh, that sounds scary to me. What's it like?"  
"I love New York. It's the greatest city in the world."  
"But your family is in San Juan. How can you live in that big city without your family?"  
"I have another family in New York."  
"Do you have kids?" She was fishing.  
"No, I have friends." Angel decided to go for broke. If this woman had any gaydar at all (and she believed she did), she would already know what Angel was about to say. "And I have a lover. Tom."  
"Oh." She didn't sound shocked. Angel had been right about the gaydar. "What's he like? Do you have a picture?"  
Angel smiled. This woman had opened up a can of worms now.  
"He's brilliant," she said proudly. "A professor." She dug for her purse in her backpack, trying not to let the woman see it. Angel was proud of being a drag queen, but being in drag on the streets of New York was one thing. Flying across the Heartland in drag was quite another. She wanted to reach San Juan in one piece, thank you very much. She pulled out a picture of Collins from her wallet. She was a little embarrassed that it had hearts drawn on it with puff paint, but the woman didn't seem fazed.  
"Oooh, he is handsome." Angel smiled.  
"Yes, he is."  
"A professor, you said? What does he teach?"  
"Philosophy."  
"So he's a rich guy, huh?" The woman winked.  
"Yeah, we're just rolling in money. Angel smiled in return.  
"Got any more pictures?"  
"Ummm. . .yeah. Here's one more." She handed it over.  
"Who's the beautiful woman with him?" The woman looked a little more closely. "Oh wow, that's you, isn't it?"  
"Yeah, that's me. That was New Year's Eve."  
"Wow! You're gorgeous!"  
"Thanks. He thinks so too." Angel was beginning to like this woman, and she was really glad she'd taken this trip. She would have to reevaluate her feelings about Southerners. Suddenly, the pilot came over the intercom, announcing their descent into San Juan. The woman handed the photos back to Angel, who put them back into her wallet. The plane touched down with a bump and taxied into the gate.  
"I hope you have a great time with your family."  
"Thanks." Angel smiled. "Enjoy your new grandbaby."  
"I will. Give your Tom a big hug for me."  
Angel grinned, as she always did when Collins was mentioned.  
"I'll give him ten." She picked up her backpack, waved to the woman, who was waiting to take her carry on from overhead, and joined the slow progression of people leaving the plane.  
As soon as she got off the plane, she saw them. Her family.  
"Abuelita!" she cried.  
"Angel-cita! Mijo!"  
She ran toward her grandmother, who was surrounded by a throng of cousins. How on Earth did they all get here, she wondered.  
Angel hugged her grandmother first. Abuelita took hold of Angel's wrist and looked carefully into her face.  
"Mijo, you are so thin! What have you been eating? You are so pale!"  
"I'm fine, Abuelita."  
"You look so different. Where are your clothes?"  
"They're packed. I didn't want to draw too much attention on the way."  
"Let's get you home, you can change." Angel smiled. Her Abuelita knew her so well. Angel greeted all of her cousins with hugs and kisses. There were five there in total. Most of them had been very small children when Angel had last been to San Juan. They claimed Angel's thrift store suitcase and her 15-year-old cousin Julio insisted on carrying it to the car. Her favorite cousin from childhood, Consuela, took her hand and they walked outside together, chatting in Spanish as if they'd never been separated. The younger cousins swirled around them, whooping, singing, and talking in Spanish and English. In many ways, Angel felt more at home than she had in years.  
They all went out to the parking garage. Abuelita led Angel and the others to a brand new minivan.  
"Wow, Abuelita, is this yours?" Angel asked.  
"No, I borrowed it from the Frasiers." The Frasiers were the family for whom Abuelita worked. "I told them that my Angel-cita was coming home, and that she'd want to see her cousins right away." Abuelita patted Angel's cheek and Angel hugged her again, joyfully.  
Angel led Consuela to the back of the van so they could chat. As Abuelita started the van and drove her grandchildren home, Angel held Consuela's hand and leaned in close. She switched to English so that it would be harder for Abuelita to understand, even if she did hear.  
"Connie, I have something to tell you. It's not an easy thing to say, and it may be even harder to hear." Angel paused. "I'm here to tell Abuelita goodbye."  
"Goodbye? Angel, where are you going?"  
Angel paused again. This was the hardest possible thing to tell people, especially those whom she loved. She sighed.  
"Connie, I have AIDS. I'm doing ok, but I don't think I have too much longer." Connie stared at Angel.  
"What? Angel, you're not serious!" Her eyes began to glisten as she searched Angel's face for a lie, a joke, something. "Please tell me that you're lying to me."  
"I wish I could tell you I were, but it's true." Angel paused, then took Connie's other hand and smiled. "I also have good news. I'm in love."  
"In love? Angel, I'm not ready for all this. It's too much."  
"I know, Connie, I'm sorry. I realize that I'm springing a lot on you, but I just couldn't tell you this on the phone. I had to do it in person. Can you help me tell Abuelita?"  
Tears coursed down Connie's face.  
"Angel, what happened to you in New York?"  
"Lots of things. I can't tell you all of it. Some of it is too sad to go into, but I'll never be sorry I went. Just know that I am happier now than I have ever been." Angel hugged her cousin and wiped the tears off her cheeks. She seemed to be doing a lot of that these days. She suspected that there would be plenty more to come. "Try not to cry. My life is the best it's ever been and I don't want any more sadness."  
Connie sighed shakily, wiped off the last of the tears, and tried to pull herself back together.  
"Ok, Angel, I will help you however I can. Abuelita will be such a mess. . .God, I can't imagine how she'll deal with this." Angel gently stroked her cousin's curls.  
"She's strong, she'll pull through. We'll just have to help her."  
Connie looked at Angel with her head to one side.  
"Angel, you have changed so much."  
"I wish you knew how good Tom is for me." His name was like a charm, she couldn't use it enough.  
Connie smiled a little, in spite of herself.  
"Tom? Is he your new honey? Is he cute?" Suddenly things were back to something like normal. They were gossiping as if they were teenagers again.  
"You have no idea how cute." Angel pulled the picture out of her purse again. "Look."  
"Whoa, you weren't kidding. What a hottie." Angel blushed.  
"I know."  
"And you love him?"  
"Completely."  
"And he loves you?"  
"I am the luckiest person in the world. He loves me as much as I love him." Connie smiled, then her face clouded again.  
"Has he got--?"  
"Yes. He has."  
"And--?"  
"He's very healthy up to now." Angel crossed her fingers at shoulder level for Connie to see.  
"I hope he stays that way."  
"Me too." Angel replied, thinking 'I am going to need his strength before too much longer.'


	2. Chapters 2, 3, 4

**Chapter 2**

When they got to Abuelita's home, the place was full of people. Angel said a quick hello and took her bag straight to her old room in the back. Abuelita used it now for her sewing machine and projects. Boxes of brightly colored fabric were stacked to the ceiling in places. Angel put her bag down on the narrow bed and immediately felt better than she had in years. She remembered Abuelita teaching her to sew when she was a little boy. Some of the other boys had laughed at Angel for spending so much time with her grandmother, but Angel had loved it, and of course, her skills came in very handy later. She sighed and opened her bag, pulling out her favorite acid-green tights and her floral tennis skirt with a soft light green t-shirt to match, She unwrapped her big platform heels from their custom-made flannel bags and set them on the floor. She started slowly taking off her men's clothing and put on her real self.

**Chapter 3**

"Ah, Angel-cita. Mija." Angel smiled that her grandmother was greeting her in entirely the feminine. Abuelita reached way up to hug her. "You look like yourself now." Angel had never really realized how tiny her grandmother was. With her shoes on, she barely reached Angel's chest. Angel also realized that Mimi reminded her of her grandmother. 'Perhaps that's why we hit it off so fast,' she thought.  
Abuelita had prepared a huge feast in honor of Angel's return, and it looked like the whole family was there to share it. Cousins and aunts and uncles spilled out of the warm kitchen, holding overflowing plates of food. Loud conversation in Spanish and English filled the small house. Angel smiled again. She had forgotten what a San Juan party was like. She had forgotten what a San Juan family was like. These were the people who had financed this trip for her. She had called her Abuelita and told her that she needed to come see her, the family had each contributed a little to the cause, and now she was among them, the guest of honor. She realized how lucky she was in her maternal family. Her father's side would not have welcomed her so warmly.. She fixed herself a plate of her grandmother's good food and sat down to eat it, among her rowdy extended family. It was good to be home.

**Chapter 4**

After most of the crowd had dispersed, late that night, Angel went to her grandmother to thank her for the dinner and the wonderful party. Abuelita held Angel at arm's length and looked her over carefully. "Mija, you are so thin!" The tiny woman pressed her cool hands against Angel's cheeks and forehead. "And so warm, what is wrong?" Angel steeled herself for what was coming. She wished that Collins was here. She really wanted to snuggle against him now, and feel his hands on hers, strengthening her. She concentrated for a long moment, and pretended that she felt him behind her, then took Abuelita's hands and pulled her to sit on the couch with her. She began, slowly, in Spanish.  
"Grandmother, I have so much to tell you. Some of it is happy, some of it is not. . ."  
Angel began telling her Abuelita everything. She began with Collins, showing her all of his pictures, and there were many. Abuelita crowed over him, how handsome he was, how much he loved her Angel. Angel wished for the millionth time since this morning that he had come along on this trip. When the conversation turned to more difficult topics, Connie came from the kitchen, wiping her soapy hands on a towel, and sat close beside Abuelita. Angel told her grandmother about her illness, how she felt fine, really fine, but how many of her friends had died from it. Abuelita's strong face began to fall, as she realized what her favorite grandchild was telling her. Her hands gripped Angel's tightly, as if she could ward off disease with only her will. Angel had no doubt that if anyone could do such a thing, it would be this little woman sitting next to her. Connie held their grandmother close, as her strong little body began to crumple slowly. She cried for a few moments. It was the first time Angel had ever seen her cry. She was always so strong, so certain.  
"Angel, what does your doctor say? Has he given you any medicine? You must come and see my doctor, he is a very smart man."  
"I have been going to a specialist at a clinic, Abuelita. I am on a special medication, and I take it several times a day. We are fighting as hard as we can."  
"But you will see my doctor tomorrow. Maybe he knows something yours doesn't."  
Angel smiled. "All right, Abuelita. I will see whoever you want me to see."  
Connie sighed "I will call him first thing tomorrow, Abuelita."  
"Grandmother, I. . .I am so sorry that I had to tell you any of this. I am so sorry to bring this sadness here. I wish I didn't have to, but I needed to see you, needed to tell you."  
"I am glad you did, Angel-cita."  
"I am glad too, Abuelita." Angel smiled and held her grandmother close. She reached for Connie and she joined in the hug too, and all three wept together.


	3. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The following morning, Angel arose, feeling wrong. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something just wasn't right with her. Her muscles felt sore, even her eyes ached. 'Exhaustion,' she decided 'That's all, I'm still tired.' She rose slowly and went to the kitchen, where she heard her Abuelita stirring. She was making breakfast.  
"Good morning, Angel-cita. Do you want some breakfast?"  
The thought of eating anything made Angel's stomach turn.  
"No thank you, Abuelita. I think I'm still full from last night."  
"But you're so thin, we have to get some good food into you. Can I make you some coffee at least?"  
"How about some tea, Abuelita?"  
Abuelita looked at her strangely.  
"Tea only? All right, tea it is. How about some toast?"  
"Thank you, some toast would be nice."  
Angel sat, warming her hands on the mug of tea for a long time. She drank a little, and nibbled on the edges of the toast. Abuelita looked at her, worried.  
"Angel-cita, why won't you eat?"  
"I ate plenty last night, Abuelita. I'm just tired, I think."  
Abuelita stood and came to Angel. She put her hands on her grandchild's face and immediately pulled them back.  
"Angel! You're burning up! Go and lie down immediately!"  
Angel obeyed, her body feeling suddenly very heavy. She was glad she hadn't gotten dressed yet this morning. Her feet felt so heavy she doubted she'd have been able to move them at all if she had real shoes on them. She trudged toward the bedroom, then changed her mind and turned toward the couch in the living room. She lay down on it, feeling its scratchy rough surface on her face. Abuelita followed, wringing her hands a little. She brought the tea with her, and pulled up a table to place it where Angel could reach it. She went to her own bedroom and brought a blanket and a pillow.  
"Angel-cita, I thought you said you were feeling fine."  
"I was. I am. This is nothing, just a cold, I think." Angel closed her eyes as a wave of nausea rushed over her.  
"Mija! Your face! It's so pale!" Abuelita ran to the kitchen and returned with a wet washcloth. She placed it on Angel's forehead and left it there for awhile. Then she used it to wash Angel's temples, neck, wrists, and hands. Angel closed her eyes again. As lousy as she felt right now, it felt good to be cared for. She went to sleep with Abuelita sitting right beside her in a patch of morning sunlight. When she awoke, the light had changed and Abuelita was nowhere to be seen.  
Connie heard Angel stirring and came out of the kitchen.  
"Angel, you're awake. How are you feeling?"  
"A little better, I think. Where's Abuelita?"  
"She's gone to see her doctor. She's going to try to get him to come here, I think. I've never seen her so worried. Can I bring you something?"  
"Will you bring me my purse and some water maybe?"  
"Ok." Connie turned and started for the kitchen.  
"Connie?" Her cousin stopped and turned back toward Angel.  
"Yeah?"  
"Will you also bring me the phone please?"  
"Sure. Gonna call your honey?"  
"Yeah, I need to talk to him right now."  
Connie left and returned a minute later with some ice water and the telephone. She handed both to her cousin. Angel drank some of the water gratefully and took the phone. Connie went to the back bedroom and returned with Angel's purse. Angel dug around in it, found her prescription bottle and took out and swallowed her AZT.  
"Thanks sweetie."  
"You're welcome. Anything else?"  
"Nope, I'm just gonna try calling Collins."  
"Ok, I'll leave you alone. Let me know if you want anything else."  
"Thanks."  
Angel lifted the phone and dialed her own number. She turned slightly and lay the phone on her ear. She counted the rings, afraid he wasn't at home. After the fourth ring, he answered.  
"Hello?" She sighed. Just hearing his voice was soothing.  
"Hi lover."  
"Angel! How was your trip? How is your family."  
"Fine baby."  
"Are you ok? You don't sound like yourself."  
"I'm sick, honey."  
"What? What's wrong?" Angel could hear the concern in his voice.  
"It's nothing, sweetheart, I'm just feeling a little down. A cold, maybe."  
"Do you need anything? What can I do to help?"  
"Just hearing your voice is enough. I miss you."  
"I miss you too, love."  
"What are you up to today?"  
"I've got all these midterms to grade. Luckily, the kids are on Spring Break, so I've got plenty of time, but there are so many of them."  
"You shouldn't give tests, Professor Collins, it's mean." Angel smiled for the first time today. This was an old joke.  
"Angel, should I come there?" Angel didn't answer for a long time. She really wanted to see Collins. She missed him awfully and it had been only a little more than 24 hours since she'd seen him, but she knew full well they could not afford another trip to San Juan.  
"No sweetie," she said at last, "I'll be fine. My grandmother and cousin are taking good care of me. It's just a cold, after all."  
"Will you call me later tonight and tell me how you're doing? I'm worried about you." Angel smiled.  
"I will." She paused "Collins?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I love you."  
"I love you too, Angel." She could hear the smile in his voice.  
"Honey, I have to go. My cousin is here and she's taking good care of me. I'll be ok. Don't worry. I just needed to hear your voice."  
"I'm glad to hear your voice too."  
"Love you."  
"I love you, my Angel."  
"I'll call you later. 'Bye."  
"'Bye."  
She hung up the phone and Connie came back into the room with a mug in her hand.  
"How's your guy?"  
"I shouldn't have called him. I worried him."  
"He loves you a lot."  
"Yeah, I'm so lucky."  
"Here, I made you some more tea. Let's sit you up."  
Connie reached around Angel's shoulders and helped her into a sitting position. Angel felt even more nauseous than before.  
"Whoa, Connie, stop!"  
"What's the matter?"  
"Baby, if I move one more inch, I am seriously going to throw up. I need to lay back down." Connie helped her ease back into the couch. At that moment, the front door opened and Abuelita came in with the doctor.  
"Angel-cita, this is Dr Ramirez."  
Angel tried to smile.  
"Hiya." She felt pretty sick by now.  
"Hi Angel. Sounds like you've caught a little something, huh?"  
Angel switched to English, attempting to spare her grandmother pain if she could.  
"Dr Ramirez, I don't know if my grandmother's told you about my HIV status. . ."  
"Yes, she told me everything she knew in the car. She was pretty fuzzy on the details though. I don' t think it matters much for today anyway. How are you feeling?"  
"I've been nauseous and weak all day. That's about the worst of it."  
"Muscles achy?"  
"Yeah, I just figured I was overtired." Dr Ramirez pulled out a thermometer and put it in Angel's ear. He pushed a button and Angel heard a beep.  
"Yep, you've certainly got a fever. 102.3. Not too shabby, my friend. I'd say you've just caught some flu from someplace. It's no fun, but not too big of a deal. Stay in bed, drink plenty, and take some ibuprofen. You'll be fine in a day or so." He switched back to Spanish and winked at Abuelita. "You'll be fine, especially with such good caretakers."   
"Is it possible this will become a secondary infection?" Angel was back to English again.  
"Not too likely. You're just going to have to take good care of yourself and get lots of sleep to make sure it doesn't turn into pneumonia. Just take it easy for a couple of days, you'll be fine."  
"Thanks, Dr Ramirez. Sorry you got dragged out here for nothing but the flu."  
"It's my pleasure. Your grandmother is a great woman. I'm always willing to do whatever I can to help her out."  
"Abuelita thinks you can help with my AIDS too." This was, for Abuelita's benefit, in Spanish. Dr Ramirez followed suit.  
"I wish I could, but I know very little about it, regrettably. Where are you getting your care?"  
"In a clinic in Alphabet City."  
"I'd say that's probably the best place for you. And you're on AZT?"  
"Yeah, I've been on it for about two years now."

"That's the best I know to do for it."

"How are your T-Cells?"  
"They've been great, no problems."

"And your immunities? Have you been sick at all lately?"  
"Not at all. I've been healthy as can be."

"Well, for someone with HIV, a flu can be dangerous, but you seem to be just about on the other side of it by now. Sleep as much as you can and try not to worry."  
"Thank you, Doctor." Dr Ramirez put out his hand for Angel to shake. She took it gently and shook hands.  
"It's nice to meet you Angel. Your grandmother's told me a lot about you. You'll have to come back and visit when you're feeling better." His voice was warm and kind.  
"I'd like that. 'Bye."  
"Goodbye Angel."  
Connie led Dr Ramirez outside and stayed for a few minutes talking with him. Abuelita sat down next to Angel.  
"Angel. Mija. Are you feeling any better?"  
"I think I might be, actually."  
Abuelita smiled and kissed Angel on the forehead.

"Sleep now, Mija."

Angel settled back into the couch and was asleep again in moments. She didn't hear Connie come back inside and pick up the phone.


	4. Chapter 6 7 8

**Chapter 6**

Angel slept all through the night and part of the next day on the couch. Around one o'clock, she awoke, feeling quite a bit better. There was a glass of water on the table. It was cool, but not cold, and she was able to sit up and drink from it without throwing up. She even managed to make it to the bathroom on her own. The house was quiet, she could hear no one moving. She considered calling out to see who was about, then decided she wanted to nap a little bit longer. Surely someone was here somewhere.

**Chapter 7**

A few hours later, the door opened quietly and a man came in, followed by Abuelita and Julio, carrying a suitcase. Connie came out of the guest room, where she had been watching television so as not to disturb Angel. She softly greeted her grandmother and the stranger, who, to her surprise, swept her into a huge bear hug. Over her shoulder, he saw Angel sleeping on the couch. He put Connie down, excused himself and slipped softly to where she lay. Julio headed for home, his interpreting duties done, and Connie and Abuelita went into the kitchen to make some coffee and to give the two of them some privacy. The stranger knelt beside Angel and watched her sleep for a moment or two, then reached out, took her hand and bent to kiss her cheek. She awoke and looked at the man, confused for a second. Her whole face lit up as she recognized him.  
"Collins!"  
"Hiya babe."  
"What are you doing here?"  
"Your cousin called me last night. She said you weren't feeling any better, so I hopped on a plane and came down here." He looked really tired, she thought.  
"Oh, I'm so glad to see you!" She kissed him fully on the lips.  
"I'm glad to see you too. How are you feeling?"  
"Much better now. I've been sleeping for most of two days."  
"Good. I was so worried about you when we talked yesterday that I was about to come down here then, but I figured I'd wait 'til I heard from you."  
"You should go to bed, you look terrible."  
"Well, thank you, darling."  
"No, I mean you look exhausted. You should get in bed."  
Collins lowered his voice, leaned in closer.  
"Does your grandmother speak any English at all?"  
"No, not really. A little only."  
"Would she understand if I said I was only getting into bed if you're in it?" He smiled that devious smile which instantly made Angel feel like a giggly teenager. She smiled and blushed a little at Collins.  
"No probably not."  
"I wonder what else I could say that she wouldn't understand." His voice was low and husky, exactly the tone which Angel could never resist. He knew he was making her squirm all the more because she was in her grandmother's home and she could not do all the things that she wanted. She kissed him again, this time slower and more deliberately. She ran her tongue along the edge of his top teeth and nipped his lower lip gently. He returned the kiss with as much passion as it had been given and thought of a million things he'd like to do to her. However, he respected her grandmother's home as much as she did. He would do nothing to undermine or disrespect Angel's family. He figured he would be sleeping on this same couch before long, with his love installed back in the guest room. He didn't mind. He was overjoyed to be with his Angel again.  
Connie stuck her head back into the room.  
"Mr Collins, would you like anything before bed? Some coffee or. . .anything."  
"I'm fine, thank you Connie. I've got everything I need right here." He squeezed Angel's hand.  
Connie beamed at Collins and switched to Spanish.  
"Angel, are you feeling well enough to get up and get into bed?"  
"Yeah, Connie, I really am. I think I'll sleep better there anyway."  
Abuelita came in, a fresh glass of water in her hand.  
"Angel-cita, drink this. Dr Ramirez says you're supposed to drink lots of water."  
Angel obeyed and drank the whole glass.  
"Good girl. Now I'm going to go get your bed ready for you."  
To Angel's surprise, her grandmother went off in the direction of her own bedroom, not the guest room. A few minutes later, she was back.  
"Angel-cita, you and Mr Collins can go sleep in my room, and I'll take the guest room."  
"Abuelita, that's really not necessary. Collins can sleep out here on the couch. We don't want to put you out of your bed." Collins looked a bit confused. Naturally, he didn't understand what all the fuss was about.  
"You'll sleep better and get better faster if you are comfortable. Any fool can see that you're more comfortable with him around. You can't both fit into the guest bed. You will sleep in my bed." Angel saw the stubborn line over her Abuelita's eyes, the one which always said 'Don't argue with me, I have spoken.' She laughed at her grandmother and held out her free hand to her. Abuelita came and took it. Angel pulled her close and kissed her cheek.  
"Well, all," Connie said in English, "I'm going to go home." She came over and kissed Angel's forehead. "I'm glad you're feeling better, Angel."  
"Thanks for taking care of me, Connie. I'll see you tomorrow?"  
"Tomorrow I have to work, but I'll be over in the evening to see you."  
"Ok, sweet. Goodnight." Connie bent and hugged Angel. Angel hugged back and kissed her.  
"Mr Collins, it was wonderful to meet you. I will see you tomorrow too, I hope."  
"I'll be here." Collins smiled at her, a smile so brilliant it was irresistable. Or at least, so Angel thought.

**Chapter 8**

To her disappointment, Collins was as good as gold all night. Angel had no intention of misbehaving in her grandmother's house, but she had been looking forward to at least a little struggle.  
Collins insisted on carrying Angel to the bed. He placed her in it, climbed in himself, put his arm around her waist, and snuggled up against her.  
"Collins?"  
"Yes, love?"  
"How did you afford this trip?"  
"Well, Connie wired me some money. . .and the rest. . ." he laughed "Darling, you don't want to know."  
Angel laughed a little herself, snuggled down into his arms, and went to sleep with his breath in her short hair.


	5. Chapter 9 10 11 12 13

**Chapter 9**

The next morning when she awoke, she felt wonderful. She could hear Collins up and in the kitchen, trying to talk to Abuelita in her pidgin English. Angel climbed out of the bed and put on her robe and her blonde wig.  
"If it isn't my Angel of the morning." Collins was waiting for her with his trademark smile.  
"Good morning, Abuelita." She kissed her grandmother, then went to sit next to her lover.  
"Good morning, Collins." He looked a little uncomfortable as she kissed his lips, but relaxed when he saw that Abuelita was smiling at them.  
"I like this boy, Angel." Angel translated to Collins.  
"I like her too." Angel likewise translated to Abuelita.  
"Damn, this trip makes me wish I'd taken Spanish instead of French in high school."  
"I'll teach you, love."  
Abuelita served them both breakfast of huevos rancheros and coffee. They insisted on doing the dishes. Abuelita relented and left the room to get ready for work. Angel rose to put her dishes in the sink and turned on the hot water. She added some soap and stirred the hot water with her fingertips. Collins came up behind her to add his dishes and pushed her against the sink with his body. He brought his hand around her waist and pulled her closer to him. He moved her hair and kissed the side of her neck. She tilted her head so that he could get in closer. He whispered her name, which sent shivers down her spine. He seemed to intuit the shivers, and gently scratched his fingernail up her backbone. She reached around and took hold of the back of his thigh muscles with her soapy hands. Her back arched into him and he took the opportunity to kiss her lips. She kissed back, gasping into his mouth. He released her from the sink and she turned around into his arms and kissed him more fully. When she broke the kiss, she looked into his face. He smiled sweetly at her.  
"We'd better stop this now," he murmured softly.  
"Yes, we can't do this here."  
"Can we find someplace else?" He was out of breath.  
"Umm. . .maybe." Angel smiled impishly at him and smacked his behind.  
"My Angel's got a plan." He grinned. "What is it?"  
"That's for me to know and you to find out." She nipped his collar bone.  
"You must be feeling better. You're back to yourself again."  
Just then, Abuelita entered the room. Collins was momentarily glad she hadn't come in a few minutes prior. Then he realized she must've timed her entry carefully and blushed.  
"Abuelita, can I have your resident card so we can go to the local beach?"  
"Are you sure you're well enough to go out, Angel-cita?"  
"I'm sure. It's warm out. We'll take it easy." Angel smiled.  
"All right, Angel-cita, you know best." Abuelita pulled out the card from her wallet and handed it to Angel. Abuelita kissed both on their cheeks, said goodbye, and left for work.  
"Here, Collins, let's finish these dishes and go out to the beach."  
"Beach?"  
"Yeah, the local beach. It's for residents only. Kapow!" Angel held the card up and wrinkled her nose in a diabolical smile.  
"Hmm. . .Your plan?"  
"My plan."

**Chapter 10**

After much soap-flipping and water-squirting, Angel and Collins finished the dishes and got dressed for the day. Angel chose to wear her black wig, a light pink skirt, a white t-shirt, and some platform sandals. Collins came in wearing light blue pants and a soft gauzy white shirt, unbuttoned about halfway down.  
"Wow, you are hot today, Professor Collins." Angel purred. She had rarely seen Collins in anything but winter clothes. She really liked the difference.  
"Thanks. I like your hair like that." Collins said, smiling.  
"Yeah? Do you think I should go out in this?"  
"I do. I think you look gorgeous."  
"I really haven't been out in drag in San Juan before. I'm a little afraid."  
"I'll protect you."  
She stood up and clung to him, liking the way his smooth skin felt under the soft, transparent shirt and inhaling his ever-present soft scent of sandalwood.  
"You always protect me, Papi."  
"I always will."

**Chapter 11**

They packed Angel's backpack with a picnic lunch and other beach necessities, and set out for the bus stop, a few blocks away. They got a few stares, since they were in a family neighborhood, but most people had heard about Angelita Dumott's strange grandson, and no one openly hassled them. Angel led the way, holding Collins' hand. They were a little more discrete than they'd have been in, say, Alphabet City, but they made no pretense of hiding who they were. At the bus stop, Angel sat down on a bench to rest her slightly ungainly long legs. A car drove past and three men in the backseat cat called. She simply laughed and pulled her short skirt up a little to show off more leg. Collins, chuckling slightly at his girl, sat down beside her. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him.  
"See? Nothing to be afraid of," he murmured into her neck.  
"Who's afraid? I'm little but I'm sassy. And I've got you for backup. What else does a girl need?"  
"Transportation." Collins replied with a smile. "Here's the bus."  
They paid the driver and boarded the bus. The bus was packed, as usual. There was only one seat available. Collins, like the gentleman he was, stood while Angel sat in the only seat.  
"Thanks, love," Angel said as she shrugged off her backpack and settled in.  
"Not that I'm complaining, because they're really hot, but I don't know how you manage with your shoes all the time. I wouldn't last ten minutes in those things."  
"Sometimes it hurts to be beautiful."  
"You're beautiful with or without the shoes and the wigs and the short skirts."  
"So are you." Collins laughed at the thought of himself wearing Angel's wigs, then reconsidered. That might be an idea for another time. . .  
His train of thought was interrupted by Angel.  
"Here's our stop, love. We get off here."  
The blocks around the local beach were pretty run down. The houses mostly looked as though they'd tumble down with a stiff breeze. They were all up on stilts and most of them had at least one person sitting outside on a porch or in the yard. Holding Collins' hand, Angel smiled and waved at almost every person that they saw. She was like her own private parade, Collins mused. He turned back and noticed that many of the people they had passed were watching them walk down the street. One house even had several people poking their heads out of the door. There had only been one person on the porch when they'd passed. He thought again of how very lucky he was to be with this person. She shone like none other.

**Chapter 12**

After a few more blocks, they reached a hedgerow. Collins could hear the surf roaring beyond and had smelled the salt in the air for blocks, but couldn't see the water. In a break in the hedges, there was a rundown little booth, with a man inside. Angel led Collins to the booth and showed the card Abuelita had given her.  
"Hola," she sang out melodically.  
"Hola." The man looked at the card, then at Angel. He looked from one to the other again.  
"Are you one of Angelita's grandkids?" he asked Angel roughly in Spanish.  
"Yeah, I'm Angel." Angel replied. He softened some.  
"I've known your grandmother for years. Are you the one who went to America?"  
"That's me," Angel said with a sweet smile.  
"What's with the funny clothes?"  
"You think they're funny?" Angel stepped away from the booth and twirled. "I think this is a pretty cute outfit."  
He laughed at her attitude. "You look ready for the beach, that's for sure."  
"I am ready. In fact, I can't wait. I'm ready for some sun after a long New York winter."  
"Well, have fun. Tell Angelita Jefe' said hello."  
"I will. Thanks Jefe'"  
"What was that all about?" Collins asked as they walked away from the booth. "I thought maybe we might have a little trouble."  
"He knows my grandmother. Almost everyone on this side of San Juan does. He thought I looked a little weird, but he was ok once he knew who I am."  
"Well you're also totally adorable. That can't have hurt."  
"Nope, you're right, I am adorable. Come with me, I want to show you all the places we went when we were kids."  
The beach was empty. Angel put down their stuff, took off her sandals and carried them in one hand while she held Collins' hand with the other. He rolled up his pants and walked along in the surf. She splashed and played, kicking water all over him. He joined in the game and both were soon drenched. She started to run, pulling him along with her deeper into the water. He was more than a little afraid of the ocean. He didn't swim well, and he always worried about what was under the water, but Angel coaxed him in with kisses, tugs, and soft words. Before long, she was under the water up to her shoulders. Collins, being taller, was only in a little less than chest deep. Angel's wig was completely soaked and she had to hold it on with one hand while holding Collins with the other. They kissed and caressed in the relative privacy of the murky water. Angel could feel her lover getting aroused and she felt her own body responding in kind. Collins was kissing and nuzzling her neck, using his teeth from time to time. She loved his teeth.  
"C'mon," she panted. "There's someplace else I want to show you."  
"Better than this?" he asked, his face pressed against her cheek.  
"Mmm. . ." she moaned. "Much better. You'll like it."  
Angel gave her lover's butt one more good squeeze and waded out of the water.  
"Let's get our stuff."  
"Where is this place?"  
"Not too far, c'mon."

**Chapter 13**

Collins waded out after Angel, a little embarrassed to be walking along the beach in his now soaked clothes in his semi-aroused state. He had noticed that Angel seemed to have the same problem, but she didn't seem concerned one bit, and indeed, there was no one else to be seen. Angel ran back to their stuff, about a half mile down the beach, picked up the backpack, and ran all the way back, meeting Collins halfway.  
"Hey, I thought you were taking it easy today."  
"This is taking it easy. Plus, this is only half of today's exertion." Angel smiled that devilish, wrinkled nose smile which so turned him on. He knew when he saw that smile that she was up to no good and he loved it.  
She led on, more directly now, to a small section of the beach backed up with glorious sheer rock faces. Collins wasn't sure he'd ever seen a more beautiful place.  
"Wow. This place is amazing."  
"C'mon."  
"Where are we going now?"  
Angel pointed up the cliff face to a small depression about halfway up.  
"Now, we climb."  
"Climb? Ang. . .Where. . .?"   
"Come on, I said. You'll like this place, I promise."  
Collins liked it when she took control. He followed her, climbing up the rocks barefoot. Once he slipped and was saved from falling only because he was holding her hand. She steadied him and pulled him to her.  
"You ok?"  
"Fine. This place is hard to get to."   
"But so worth it. Look, we're almost there."  
"Good. Let's go."  
They climbed higher, and finally they were on the ledge in front of the depression, which he now saw was a decent-sized cave. Angel pulled him inside with her and kissed his lips urgently. This took Collins off guard, but he recovered quickly and returned her kiss. She let him go just as the kiss really heated up, pulling their beach blanket out of her backpack.

"Mmm. . .I love you so much, Angel."  
"I love you too, baby. C'mere."


	6. Chapter 14 15 16 17 18

**Chapter 14**

Angel awoke first, about 15 minutes or so later. She turned her head to look at her sleeping lover. She watched him sleep for a few moments, then carefully disengaged herself from him. Collins' eyes opened when she moved and she kissed him, sucking his bottom lip. With her wig off and her makeup mostly gone, in the dim light, Angel was once again the small beautiful man Collins had met in the alleyway a few months ago. Angel's delight in her wigs and pretty clothes made Collins smile, but he secretly relished moments like these when Angel was just Angel, without artifice. She broke his reverie by leaping to her feet.  
"C'mon, let's go."  
"Go? Angel, where are we going? I'm naked."  
"I noticed." The diabolical smile was back. "Let's go for a swim. We can go naked."  
"Angel, I can't swim."  
"What? Who can't swim? Everyone knows how to swim."  
"Me. I can't. I never really learned. And the ocean kinda. . .well. . ."  
"Well, what?"  
"It scares me." Collins finished lamely.  
"Aww. . .my poor baby." Angel snuggled back into Collins' arms, laying her cheek on his chest. "He's scared of the water. . ." He kissed the top of her head.  
"Well, there are all those. . .fish and things in the ocean. . .and I saw _Jaws_ a long time ago, when I was pretty young and, well. . .I'm just scared."  
"Will you come and watch me? I'll bet the sight of me playing naked in the waves will change your mind about the water fast."  
"If anything could, I'd say that would do it." Collins laughed. He pulled his pants back on and Angel took off her t-shirt and skirt. Wrapping a towel around her waist she picked up her backpack, and hand in hand the two of them descended the rock face to the sand below. Collins took the backpack and sat down just above the tidal line. Angel dropped the towel and momentarily danced naked for him. He laughed and appreciated his private show, but when he stood and reached for Angel, she laughed and ran toward the sea. He decided not to follow just yet, but to watch her frolic for awhile. She was a good strong swimmer and she took on the waves like an old pro. He realized that she had probably been swimming in these waters since birth, and he wondered about how she had known about the cave above. He made a mental note to ask about that later as he watched her body-surf like an otter, the water sliding over her strong thin body. She played for about ten more minutes, then ran back to him, laughing and shaking the water from her short hair like a dog. She sat down next to him, took his hand in both of hers and leaned happily on his shoulder. Her body was completely covered in sand and there were some seaweed bits stuck in her hair. Collins reached over and carefully picked them out. They sat silently like that, watching the waves for several minutes. Soon she was ready to go again. She stood and pulled him to his feet.  
"C'mon, play with me! It'll be fun! I'll protect you from any nasty old fish."  
Reluctantly, he allowed himself to be dragged a few steps toward the surf.  
"Wait! No pants allowed." Her quick fingers untied his drawstring and pulled his pants off, then tugged him toward the water again. He was more or less ok with the water until he got in more than waist deep. That had always been his threshold. Again, she plied him with kisses and got him in up to his chest. There he stopped and wouldn't be cajoled any further. She really couldn't have forced him in any more because the water was just about over her head. She tread water a little, bouncing on the balls of her feet and holding his hands. He smiled, despite his fear, at his beautiful lover, brimming with energy. Angel kissed him, pulling his tongue into her mouth, and swam backwards, trying to get him to come into the deeper water with her, but he simply could not. She swam around him, splashing and slapping at him playfully, and getting him to play back, but his feet would not leave the sandy bottom.  
"Oh, c'mon then, you loser! We'll go beach combing, if you won't play with me."  
Angel waded out of the water and Collins followed. She handed him a pair of swim trunks and put on a pair herself from the backpack before she headed off down the beach.  
"Ang, wait for me!" he called out, tripping over the swim trunks. She was running again, in and out of the surf. 'What the hell,' he thought, pulling up the waistband, and ran after her. His longer legs soon overtook her and he grabbed her around the waist, clumsily knocking her to the ground. She sat up, laughing and spitting out sand.  
"You ok, Ang?" She laughed some more.  
"Perfect. You?" Collins smiled, then pouted.  
"I think I might've bit my lip."  
"Awww, poor baby. Let me kiss it better." She did, and what a kiss. It was one he'd have called to tell his best friend about, if she hadn't been sitting right here delivering it.  
"Maybe it wasn't my lip. I feel a little sore right here." He pointed to his cheek. Laughing, she kissed his cheek. "No, wait, I think your elbow hit me here." He pointed to his collarbone. She kissed him there. "You know, I'm not sure where I'm hurt."  
"Then I'd better kiss you everywhere, just to be sure." She pushed him off her and rolled him onto his back in the sand. She proceeded to kiss every square inch of him. He lay back and looked into the sky, just relishing this moment, the warm sun on his skin, the hot sand at his back, and his lover's lips softly caressing him. He was amazed that this was his life, when only a few months ago he had been so frustrated, depressed, and bored. She stopped kissing and crawled up to lay in the circle of his arms, her head on his chest. A pair of seagulls flew high above, looping and riding the warm air currents. They watched them in silence together.  
When the birds were out of sight, she sat up. "I'm hungry," she announced.  
"No wonder," he replied. "You've been really busy today. I'll go back and get the bag."  
He returned a few minutes later with her backpack. It had gotten a bit wet around the edges. Collins unpacked it completely to see what had gotten wet.

"I'll go wash off all this sand while you get our lunch ready." Angel volunteered.  
"Ok, love." Angel kissed him and started toward the fresh water spigot a few hundred feet away. When she returned, Collins had their lunch laid out neatly in the sand. She hung her skirt over a nearby rock and handed part of the still damp blanket to Collins.  
They spread the blanket and sat down with their lunch. They ate, took their AZT, sharing a bottle of water, then Collins sat with the rock at his back and pulled out his midterms while Angel washed the dishes. When she returned, she repacked the picnic things.   
"What're you doing, lover?"  
"Gotta finish grading these midterms."  
"Why didn't you do that on the plane? I want to play with you some more."  
"Couldn't concentrate on the plane, Ang. You go play."  
She placed her head in his lap, in the middle of the papers, and looked up into his face.  
"See why you shouldn't give tests, Professor?" He smiled, despite his annoyance at her impeding his work.  
"I know. It's mean. Get off my papers, your hair's still wet."  
"Every party has a pooper." Angel sat up, kissed the tip of Collins' nose, and ran back to the surf. He watched her for a few moments, chuckling a little to himself, then returned to his midterms. He got through three more, and part of the fourth, before Angel returned, dripping and exhausted. She collapsed next to him, pressing her back against his thigh. He traced her shoulder absently with the tips of the fingers of his left hand. He finished the fourth test, put it down, and looked at her.  
"Did you wear yourself out?"  
"Just about. I'm gonna lie here and relax for a little while, then I think I'll be ready to go. Are you ready?"  
"Whenever you say. You feeling ok?"  
"I'm fine."  
"You'd better be. I don't want to have to face your grandmother and tell her that you're sick again because you overdid it today. I have a feeling she'd hurt me."  
Angel laughed "She might."

**Chapter 15**

Back at Abuelita's, they showered together, singing and washing each other. Angel started singing "Oh Susannah," Collins followed along, singing loudly in his deep baritone, drowning out Angel's higher, thinner voice. She changed the song halfway through, and began singing "I'm in the Mood For Love." Collins continued singing the original song for several bars, before he realized that they sounded like a pair of music boxes, started at different times, and he stopped, perplexed as to why Angel was no longer singing with him. This made Angel laugh every time. He always fell for it. It made her think of Lucy's trick on Charlie Brown with the football. Still giggling at the image of Collins' puzzled face, Angel climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her thin body. Collins followed her.

"Honey, have you lost more weight?" He sounded concerned.

"No, baby, I just got tanned today. It makes you look thinner. See?" Angel let her towel drop from her butt so that Collins could see her tanlines. Collins turned her around and took the towel away completely, sweeping her into an embrace. He looked into her eyes and kissed her.

"You certainly did get tanned today," he said, holding her hand out, comparing their skin tones. "If you get any more sun on this trip, they'll have a hard time telling us apart when we get back to New York."

"You should have seen me when I was a kid. I was darker than you."

"No way."

"We'll have to ask Abuelita to pull out the old pictures tonight."

"Aww. . .baby Angel. I can't wait to see that!"

"Angel! Collins! Are you here?"

They looked at each other and Angel giggled. Connie!

Angel opened the door and called out "We're here, Connie. Be there in a minute!"

**Chapter 16**

Clean and dressed, Collins and Angel came to the kitchen hand in hand. Angel kissed Connie and the cousins sat down at the table, chatting rapidly in Spanish. Collins wished again that he understood what they were saying.

"I think I'll make some coffee. Anybody want any?"

"No thanks, darling." Angel looked into her lover's face and saw that he was feeling left out. "Oh, Connie, we need to remember to speak English. Poor Collins will get a complex, thinking we're talking about him if we speak Spanish." Angel put her arms around Collins' chest from behind and squeezed him.

"Well, we were. . ." Connie began

". . .so he might just need to get over it." Angel finished and both laughed. They had finished each other's sentences as children too. "No, really." Angel said seriously, releasing Collins and turning to her cousin. "We're resolved. . .English only around Collins. . .unless we're talking to Abuelita. . ."  
". . .or if we're talking about his butt." Connie continued.

Angel and her cousin burst into fresh peals of laughter and Collins blushed slightly.

"You two deserve each other," he muttered.

**Chapter 17**

That evening, after dinner, they convinced Abuelita to bring out her photo albums. It wasn't difficult. There were literally hundreds of pictures of Angel. Along with being the first grandchild, and her namesake, Abuelita admitted to having adored Angel from birth.

"He was the tiniest little thing I had ever seen, only 4 pounds. They put him in an incubator. They weren't sure he'd live, but he's always been a fighter. The doctor said he had come early. He was born only 7 months after the wedding." Collins covered his mouth and snickered a bit when Angel interpreted that. Angel swatted him and everyone laughed.

"Abuelita, show Collins that picture of me and Jason at the beach." Abuelita flipped straight to the right picture, of a 13-year old Angel, tanned browner than Collins himself, with his arm around a fair blonde boy's waist. The boy, Jason, had his arm around Angel's shoulders and both of them were smiling happily into the camera. Collins recognized the rock formations that they had seen this morning; the picture was taken near the cave.

"Damn, you weren't kidding when you said you were darker than me!"

"Well, with Jason standing next to me, I do look darker." Angel smiled.

"Who was he?"  
"My first crush. I kissed him at the Christmas dance. "  
"Ahhh. . .your first kiss?" Angel nodded. "How cute! Did you guys go out?"

Angel averted her eyes a bit in an embarrassed gesture.

"Uhhh . . . no, actually. He's happily married with a whole houseful of kids now."

"Ohhh . . ." Collins nodded, sympathizing. "Nothing worse than falling in love with a straight guy."

"Well, it wasn't love anyway, just a crush. But my heart was broken at the time. It was awkward as hell for awhile, but we managed to stay friends." Collins shook his head in disbelief.

"Do you have any enemies at all, Ang?"

"There are one or two skinheads in New York who don't want to see me again," she replied demurely. "I've had to school a few bigoted assholes in my day." She batted her eyelashes and smiled sweetly.

Collins thought about the night of Maureen's protest and the riot, how Angel had fought off three cops to free him.

"I wouldn't cross this Angel," he said to Connie.

"I wouldn't either," Connie replied

There were pictures of Angel having birthdays, riding his bike, playing Little League (only one or two of that variety). 'You could make a flip book and just watch his whole life from these pictures,' Collins thought to himself.

Collins got into the habit of searching every photo for Angel's face. Angel and Connie, playing the piano, going out hiking, playing with walkie-talkies, dancing. The two of them appeared inseparable. As Collins watched his lover age in the pictures, he began to see that the femininity which was such an integral part of her had started quite young, but also ever-present in the photos was her clear sense of herself. Few children have that kind of confidence at the age of 13. However, there was no indication of her preference for women's clothing. Young Angel appeared to be, on the outside anyway, all boy.

"When did you start doing drag, Ang?"  
"Almost as soon as I got to New York. I was outside this club with some friends one day when I was 15, and this guy walked past and looked right at me, straight into my face. 'You need a job?' he asked me. We were broke, so I said 'yeah.' He took me inside. They did a drag show three nights a week and they needed some 'new blood' as he put it. I took one look at all those nasty old wigs and torn up fishnet hose and knew it was for me."

"You were dancing in drag in a club at the age of 15?"

"I sang too." There was mock offense in her voice. Collins laughed. Angel smiled. "I lied; I told them I was 18. I don't think they cared anyway."

"What did your parents say?"  
"I told them I got a job as a waiter. But about two years later, when my dad found out. . . Oooh, there was hell to pay. He threw me out of the house for a few days, but then my mom's pleading and the fact that he didn't have the money I brought in convinced him to let me come home. It was a bad scene. I can't remember him actually talking to me again after that. He screamed at me from time to time, stuff about how worthless I was, how ugly, what a 'poor excuse for a human being' I was. . . He finally did kick me out for good."  
"God, Ang, that's awful. What did you do?"

"I rode around on the subway for awhile . . . I didn't know where else to go. The first time he kicked me out, I stayed with my boyfriend, but that ended badly and I didn't have anywhere to go. These skinheads on the subway started picking on me, and I stood up to them. Somehow I managed to scare them away, and once they were gone, I noticed this little Latina sitting there. She was impressed that I stood up to those big guys, and said she needed a friend, could we be friends. Guess who it was?"  
"Mimi!"  
"Mimi, right. I moved in with her, and the rest, as they say, is history."

"Angel, you are amazing."

"Guilty." Angel smiled. Collins pulled her to him in a hug.

**Chapter 18**

"Ang?" Collins asked once they were alone in Abuelita's bed that night.

"What?"  
"How did you know about that cave?"

"Everybody knew about it. It was a high school make out spot. Probably still is."

"But you left here way before high school."

"Jason had a big sister who was in high school. He took me there."

"I thought you said Jason was straight."  
"He is. He was . . . but umm . . . I guess he must've been curious." Angel nipped Collins collarbone lightly and he could see her smiling mischievously in the dim light. "Good night."  
Collins was still laughing at that when Angel woke up the next morning.


	7. Chapter 19 20 21

**Chapter 19**

Two days later was their last full day in San Juan. Angel and Collins went to the beach again, because Angel wanted to go, but she was not nearly as animated as she had been the first time they'd come. She wasn't even up for a climb to the cave. She waded forlornly in the surf until Collins gathered her up and brought her home. He understood that she was missing San Juan already. She didn't know if she would ever see her family again, and that thought weighed heavily on her mind. Once they got back to Abuelita's house, Angel started crying and could not stop. Collins didn't know what else to do, so he put her in bed and held her until she wore herself out and went to sleep.

That evening, Angel barely spoke English all night. She wanted to spend as much time with Abuelita and Connie as possible. Collins wasn't sure what to do with himself, Angel had never ignored him before, so he sat and read until it was time for bed.

**Chapter 20**

When they got to the airport the following afternoon Abuelita held one of Angel's hands, Collins the other. Abuelita took Angel to get her tickets and check her bags. Connie pulled Collins aside.

"Abuelita asked me to ask you. . ." Connie took a deep breath and continued. "She wanted me to ask you to contact us if . . . when . . . before . . ." Her face crumpled a little. Collins simply nodded and hugged her.  
"I will."

Collins checked his bags, got his tickets, and rejoined Angel and her grandmother. He smiled warmly at Angel and took her hand. He was rewarded with a small watery smile. The four of them went through security and found their gate. They were a little early, so Angel and Abuelita sat together, talking softly. Angel sat with her arm protectively around her tiny grandmother's shoulders. When Collins looked at them, he saw fresh tears coursing down their similar faces. Connie sat nearby, watching them. Collins sat next to Connie and put his arm around her.

Connie turned to look at the big man sitting next to her.  
"I will miss her so much. She has been my best friend since I can remember, but I am so glad she has you."  
"She will have me, one way or another, until we both die."  
Connie smiled through her tears and kissed Collins' cheek.

"Thank you."

"For what?"  
"For being Angel's new family. She is blessed."

"She was blessed in her original family too."

The two smiled and hugged one another.

Their flight was called for boarding, so Collins picked up Angel's backpack and his own book bag. Angel stood slowly, still holding Abuelita's hands. They walked all the way to the ramp, hand in hand, tears flowing freely. Collins managed their tickets and Angel kissed and hugged both Abuelita and Connie separately, then joined them all in a group hug. Collins waited patiently and hugged first Connie then Abuelita. When he released the smaller woman, she held onto his hand and spoke earnestly to him for a moment or two. Collins looked to Angel for translation, but whatever she had said had set Angel into a fresh bout of tears and she could only shake her head. After a moment, Connie spoke up.

"She says that she has always loved her Angel, no matter who she is. She was always afraid that Angel would never find the kind of love which she deserved. She says it has set her mind at ease, meeting you. You are the man she has always hoped Angel would find. The kind she should spend her whole life with." Collins had to fight off tears of his own as he pulled Abuelita into another trademark bear hug.   
"Gracias." He whispered into her ear.

"Gracias." She replied.

Collins pulled himself together a little, sighed deeply, and reshouldered their bags. He went to Angel and put his arm around her shoulders. With a wave and a flurry of quick words, Angel allowed herself to be led to the boarding ramp. She turned around to watch the two women shrinking into the distance. They waved until she was out of sight. Since Angel could hardly see through her tears, it fell to Collins to be her leader. He held her shoulders carefully, supporting her slightly as they boarded the plane. He found their seats and put her into the window seat as he put their bags in the overhead compartment. Collins took the aisle seat. Angel barely noticed, she was busy looking out the window at the terminal, trying desperately to catch a last glimpse of her family. Even though she couldn't see them, she waved fiercely, as if they could see her.

Once the plane took off, she put her head on Collins' shoulder and went to sleep immediately. The emotional stress of the day had obviously been more than she could handle. Collins took out a book and read for 15 minutes or so, then, realizing he had read the same sentence four times without getting any meaning from it, gave up and put it away. He turned off the reading light, leaned his head on Angel's, and went to sleep.

When he awakened an hour later, the sky outside the window was almost dark. He was unaware at first what had wakened him, and then he realized that Angel's head was no longer beneath his. His head was resting now on Angel's shoulder. She was looking out the window silently.

Collins blinked a few times, clearing his eyes.

"Hey, babe, feeling better?" Angel turned her still-swollen eyes to him.

"Yeah." She sounded tired.

The captain came over the intercom, announcing that there had been a storm over Orlando, that their landing might be a little bumpy. Angel's eyes widened and met Collins'.  
"It'll be ok, sweetheart. These pilots are amazing. And we've got a whole hour before we get to Orlando. Maybe it'll clear off some."

'And if it's not ok, there's nothing we can do about it anyway,' he added mentally. He wouldn't dare say that aloud in Angel's current emotional state.

Angel looked out the window for a long time. Collins understood her melancholy, but he desperately missed his exuberant Angel. He just held her hand and looked out into the night sky with her. After a long while, she spoke up.

"Look how beautiful the stars are, Collins. It's like you could touch them. Think we'll ever be closer to them than we are right now?"

"I don't know, sweetheart." He smiled to himself. His Angel was perking up some.

They sat in silence for a while longer . . . Eventually the pilot came back on to announce their descent into Orlando. The skies were clear, visibility was good, but the wind was strong. Their landing would be a bit rough, he said. Angel reached for Collins' hand.

The pilot hadn't been exaggerating. It wasn't the worst Collins had lived through, but it was sufficient to scare Angel. She held onto Collins' hands so tight it hurt while the plane shimmied its way to the ground. They landed safely and Angel sighed deeply. Collins smoothed her hair, kissed her forehead, and held her close. A moment later, they stood together. Collins got their bags from the overhead and they left the plane.

They had a short layover in Orlando. It was just enough time to find their connecting flight, eat some dinner and take their meds. They sat side by side in the terminal, eating Chinese food and teasing each other. It was getting late, and Angel had distinct dark circles under her eyes. Collins couldn't help but notice that they had become more prominent more quickly lately. It worried him, but he didn't mention it. Their flight began boarding, so they threw away their trash and got on their last flight of the day. Angel watched the stars for a while, then pulled out a magazine. Collins lifted the armrest between their seats and snuggled her into his arms. He had never had any interest in the kind of magazines which Angel liked to steal out of the dumpsters of the bookstore down the street from their apartment, but now he read over her shoulder and commented upon the articles. They sat comfortably passing the time for quite some time. As they got closer to New York, Collins noticed his lover's body tensing. She soon lost interest in her magazine and held it loosely in her hands. She looked out the windows, but it was cloudy now and there was nothing but an undulating grey sea of clouds beneath them. Angel found this fascinating too. She watched the clouds for a while, then the stars. Collins found himself beginning to nod off again. He had no idea how long he had been asleep when he was awakened by Angel clapping her hands in delight.

"Collins, wake up! Look at this!"

"Wha- baby . . . what is it?"

She pointed out the window.

"What do you see?"  
"Look at the clouds!"

He leaned over her and looked down. The clouds were glowing orange over some city beneath. It was a phenomenon that he'd seen before, but never really noticed.

"Isn't it beautiful? Isn't it the most amazing thing you've ever seen?"

Collins smiled. That was one of the things he loved about Angel. She had a way of seeing things in an entirely unique way, causing him to see things through her eyes.

"I hope it's still cloudy when we get to New York! But not windy, that wasn't any fun."

Collins checked his watch and yawned. By his estimate, they had another 30 minutes of flight time left.  
"We'll be there soon, baby. I'm sure it'll be fine."

"What time is it?"

"Almost nine o'clock. It's gonna be late when we get home. We'll have to catch the Q33 Bus and take it to the F-line. That'll take another hour or so to get home."

Angel sighed and laid her head on Collins' arm.

"I can't wait to get home." He kissed her hair.

"Soon, darling."

Finally the announcement came of their descent into New York. Angel sat up to watch. It was still cloudy, and the city glowed through the clouds. Angel watched, enthralled. Collins leaned over to watch too. It was really only mostly cloudy, he noticed. There were several places where the city sparkled through the breaks. The effect was really stunning, a huge glowing mass with a few sparkles of distinct light here and there. Angel thought it looked like magic. They began to descend through the clouds. Once the plane broke through the clouds, Collins felt her tense beside him, and he realized that she was holding her breath. He laughed.

"What are you laughing at?"

"You were holding your breath." Angel laughed at herself this time.

"It kinda felt like we were going underwater."

"You're right, it kinda did. Weird."

Finally, they landed in New York. Almost home. They gathered their things. Once they were inside the airport, Collins looked at Angel. The dark circles under her eyes were so prominent her eyes looked sunken deep. He checked his pocket and found a folded wad of paper which he didn't recognize. He pulled it out and counted ten 20 dollar bills.  
"Angel, did you put this here?" He showed her the money.

"No."

"Do you suppose. . ."  
"It must've been Abuelita." Angel grinned. "She always used to do that, put little gifts in our pockets when we were leaving her house."

"Angel Dumott-Schunard, I suggest we use your grandmother's gift to get us home. I propose a taxi."

"Ohh, Collins that is the best idea I've heard all day! A taxi will only take 20 minutes at most!"

Within the hour, they were carrying their things up the steps to their third-floor walkup. Collins found the key, while Angel waited, sitting on the stairs, exhausted. He made her wait while he brought in all their luggage. Last, he came back to her, picked her up, and carried her to their bed. Without even undressing, she snuggled under the comforter and was soon fast asleep. He got into the bed beside her and was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

**Chapter 21**

Less than six months later, Collins had to make good on his promise to call Connie. He called her on October 20th to tell her that Angel needed her. She and Abuelita were on the next flight out. Thanks to Collins, Angel did get to see her family again


End file.
